The Over-Played Interracial Discussion

The Hot Mess Zone v10
The Over-Played Interracial Discussion

WARNING: I understand that anything in this society longer than one paragraph turns folks off as we have grown to frown on interaction and reading, so please feel free to move on as I don’t wish to bore you with reality.

I got an email today that was a repeat offender but not for the same reasons as it offended the first go-around. Supposedly from the archives of Sister2Sister‘s 2002 January edition this has been circulating with no purpose in sight.

This email attempted to not only drag me into a discussion that is not mine to be had, but insult my intelligence at the same time. I have searched, and searched the Internet for this alleged article and it is NO WHERE to be found. Not even on the Sister2Sister website. So this leaves me with only one option and that’s to push it to the back burner once I am through and to delete it without reading it should it find its way back into my inbox rather than the Spam folder.

I’ll post my response to both “authors” and then re-post the two ridiculous causes for the disruption in my day. jungle fever - still

It’s sad that this discussion continues to be had, especially by Negros. There is truth in both emails but alas the underlying truth escapes both authors. Until they are willing to truly educate themselves on why relationships between the two races began, they will never understand why it continues or why there will be some who detest the combination. It’s not a “Negro Issue” in my opinion and this article in this magazine served little to no purpose. We simply ended up going around in a circle.

The woman is pretending that she does not observe the same grossly overweight, argumentative, mean, loud, needy, materialistic, excess baggage toting women and men within her race/culture. Let’s face it, Negros did not become the way they are out of the blue. They have learned to parrot the poor behavior of their captives. That does not get them off the hook for their bad behavior, but alas when a child views a parent or peer behaving badly, that helps to shape what they become. Not all children but a large majority display this behavior. The man this “author” has chosen to be with has obviously not had the pleasure of being around good women – period. Regardless of race.

This fact is proven by a woman who is so wrapped in her own bullshit that she actually believes there are NO GOOD Negro women in existence and that we ALL hate her being with OUR men. Give me a fucking break. If she is so happy, why does she need to be coddled by a group of strangers in a fucking magazine? Live your life with your man! But alas, her vein attitude is showing [at least to me] that there is WAY more to this story than she would like to admit. I have dated Negro and Snow men and have not felt the need to explain my choices to anyone. Nor did I feel that Snow women were wondering why I was dating “their men.” To even have that terminology is crass and insulting. When I see Snows and Negros date I do question one thing, are they truly in love, experimenting, or going for shock value (it happens). I do not question because I need to get down to the bottom of things as it is not my life they are living, same as I am not living theirs. It’s just a breeze question that can or cannot be answered, but I don’t hold resentment as that’s pathetic and a job left to folks with no lives to lead.

For this random chick to assume that Snow women are a commodity worth coveting simply feeds into the true reason why many believe Negros date Snow – because they are a possession worth obtaining. She should pull her shit together and love HER man. Stop worrying about what others MAY be thinking of her and move the hell on with HER life. A part of me hopes that this is simply a scam email as I have not seen the actual magazine publication to verify that this mess is even real. To clarify some of her falsehoods, Larry Fishburne is married to a woman who is mulatto [mixed with both races] and Tyson Beckford dates both races so I’m not understanding how the men she listed proves anything. Those are just the two I usually follow because I actually like their work and to see them in the public eye is good positive thing. They have never brought embarrassment to their families (as far as I know) and are proud men in the entertainment industry.

At the same time the response has pointed out successful men (Negro and Snow) who have found wonderful and sometimes equally successful Negro women to build lives with. For the insulting closing of this letter to even be discussed is a joke.

Now for the Negro man that “responded:”

The beginning of Negro men dating Snow women has not been because they were deemed “easy” but other factors came into play. For this man to use church and common decency as an excuse of why Negro men slept with Snow women is a joke. Many Negro men dated church going Snow women “back in the days” and were also told that they wanted to wait until marriage. Snow women were simply deemed “better” and Negro men wanted better believing in the bastardized hype of the American Dream Theory. I have met Snow women that are far from docile and easily controlled. This man is helping to continue more crap even if it does concern Snow women; as he pretended not to waste time “slandering” Snow people.

Any man who would walk all over ANY woman is a piece of shit – plain and simple. That is a man I wouldn’t want or wish on the nastiest Snow woman I knew. Respect is respect and for men to be proud of choosing a companion for the reason of “walking all over them” deserves nothing more than whatever dirt he gets. Same goes for women who choose men for that or similarly stupid reasons.

Perhaps this Negro male should delve deeper into his own history and realize that Negros were not always “ruling” each other. We actually were peaceful and capable of taking care of each other without a Mas’a (Negro or Snow). Let’s not get caught up in the images that have been fed to us by our liars. Negros were not “cooking food” in the way we have been taught. We had to adjust and yes we have always been caregivers. That has simply been our nature. Long before slavery Negro women have simply taken care of all that surrounded them. Hence why women have been known to be the backbone of all societies.

Being a woman has never been a strike against her until men decided to create the current male societies that we endure today – hence all the drama. I don’t want to be ANYONE’S “Queen” as the man that spends time in my world needs to be able to stand up and speak for himself and understand when I’m there to have his back. We shouldn’t have to “rule” each other and the names “king” and “queen” state that for me. This “author” is not fully awakened, and none of us are, but he can use a bit more reading in his life before attempting to school folks on the past.

I do not feel “empowered” or as though this man’s response “defended my honor” simply because this is a fool-hearted conversation; if this article/email correspondence even happened. Our culture has been so diluted that even when Negros believe they have found their true history it turns out to be another H.M.F. (Hollywood Manufactured Fantasy).

Just my two cents.

Now the original chain mail that entered my inbox:

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I’m so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

White Woman’s Opinion of Black Women

Dear Jamie:

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.

I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley,Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes….

I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,

Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays,in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and over all weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember,when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt , you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands,and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman.

And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to over come great obstacles,their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOMLINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call.. But, unfortunately, I am looking fora Virtuous Woman.. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and;unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,
Black Royalty