The Hot Mess Zone, v3

Well, there has been so much hitting the Whirlpool of Shame that it took a while to distinguish what was what. checking out different outlets has helped so here’s a quick drive by.

First up is Miley Cyrus. Is her back really the issue here? Parents will find the dumbest thing to get upset about as their children are the scapegoats for their own boredom. The latest Parental Cries relates to a picture in Vanity Fair where the Disney Hannah Montana star posed with her bare back to the camera, partially, and she looked… like a growing teen. God forbid the child attempts to grow the F up, all hell breaks loose in the land of make believe.

First the infamous nipple because children have never seen nipples before (real or plastic) now a bare back because once again, children have never seen a bare back before. Oh no! What will they think of next, a baby toe??? Sweet God no! Don’t let it be a baby toe!!! It kills me that the folks kicking up so much dirt about this. Disney knew Cyrus was going to Vanity Fair. Give it a rest already. These parents have their children playing video games like Grand Theft Auto but they are upset about a nipple and a bare back. These same parents and Disney are shoving the children in front of cartoons with adult themes but because we have talking animals in them it all becomes ok. The Disney cartoon chicks are getting more and more bustier by the film and no one bothers to mention this?!! What about those parents who put their one- or three-year olds in bikinis… what the F is that about? Really, the one piece isn’t enough for the child anymore? The toothless baby needs to be sexy too???? I thought that the dancing girls in Beauty & the Beast were sure to pop out of those tight tops they were in. It sure would be nice for people to find better things to focus on, but life was never meant to be perfect. Cyrus needs to hold her head up high & be proud that she’s growing up and not snorting the White Magic yet.

Second Hott Mess this week would be Paula Abdul. I’m glad I missed out on the Paula Abdul reality show because I would be spent right about now. I can only take her in small doses and American Idol likes draw it out. This time she seemed to have slept through some of the show or she’s hitting the powerful medications early. She was critiquing a contestant on his song but though he sang twice or something. She was confused and had me wondering if I changed the channel or watched another episode or something. She told Jason that she didn’t liked this one over his first song, but wasn’t this his first song you were supposed to be giving feedback on? Were the reviews pre-written for the show & she read the wrong one?

Next would bring us to Tom & Oprah in Colorado. Seriously, did we need to go along? Did O really need to bring up the Brooke Sheild’s drama? Did things not get settled long time ago? I could have done without seeing the baby’s “office.” Seems that when Tommy needs to look and feel normal he calls up Oprah. That’s what friends are for!

Just as i began to recover from the news coverage of Tomrah, I get hit with the tidbit of Scarlett Johanson reveals that she’s dropping an album. From the video to the song – it all seems like a hott mess. I want to skip the drug induced performance, but alas someone I thought was my friend dropped off the album. The review should be up, when I get around to feeling too happy that I need something or someone to bring me down. I know I can count on you Scarlett.

More loser airtime goes to Heidi & Spencer from The Hills. Even roaches are amazed at the stamina of these two. WTF?! Tyra had them on her show and I think the combination of these two distracted from Tyra bringing things back to center her. The non-singing Heidi and her douche in a suit added little to the show as they do to life. Now talks are that they too want to adopt an African child because he’d be tall and can be named Dunk due to the fact that he’ll be the best dunker. Well that makes sense because of course all tall black men can play basketball and dunk – especially if they are from Africa! why not simply blow Africa the hell up. They’ll be better off than being adopted by the likes of those two.

Speaking of Tyra, she has been nominated for a Daytime Emmy! Congrats. She deserves it for being so close to those two Hills characters. Maybe it was for her coverage of the father who managed the career of his porn star daughter and waxed her when needed. What a dad!

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