Jesus on Credit

Well just when I thought shit couldn’t get any worse we now have Giving Kiosks in the Church. Want to give some offerings – step up to the Kiosks. No longer for the quick withdrawal before hitting the clubs or bars; now if you don’t have cash on you simply key in your pass code & BAM – the Lord will hear your prayers.

Now some might say that it’s not that bad or it’s not “buying” prayers but what else would you call it? Is it really that serious to have an ATM machine in the dang church? Aren’t a few of the sermons about money being the root of all evil but yet you have a dang ATM machine chillin’ at the door?!!! WOW!

swipe for Jesus

Then again there are those sexy Bingo Nights! Can’t have the parishioners rolling up and running out of dough. What about when we have the Annual Church Bake Sale? You know you want Aunt Mable’s Apple Turnovers & Pumpkin Pies! If you can’t go in debt for Jesus and a healing, then who and what!?!?

Maybe the Devil made you do it….

Either way there seems to be money in them there hills. A Pastor in Georgia and his wife are now selling these to other Houses of Worship at $2,000 to $5,000 a pop per Cash Magnet Giving Kiosk. There also seems to be a licensing & support fee for up to $49.99/month. (Dang, I wonder when my Church license will come in ??: ) Plus a card processing fee of 1.9% each transaction. A tiiiiny fee goes to the Pastor’s business of course.

The Protestants in the South seem to be making the most of these so far but I’m sure others will catch on. The funny thing is that even though so many have decided to swipe for the Lord, they still drop in the receipt as proof of homage to the good ‘ol days. Some do say that offering is a part of worship. Why don’t we offer some time or a helping hand instead? Oh well…

Things just get better and better….

Don’t forget your receipt!

Prayers on Credit

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-meeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn

Believing is your right; not believing is others.

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