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Another Hidden BET Gem?

published by ashee at 9:55 pm on the move add responses

Nov 272007

Seems like a “Best of” show where the hosts looked back at the different shows they liked. I caught this half way through as I never saw it before. The conversation I came in on was if the man should be the provider in a relationship. You had those who said that’s what they preferred and those who said that if they are making the money then they don’t mind providing. Why can the couple provide for each other. Why can’t both male and female (male/male; female/female) provide enough that if trouble happens for one the other can pick up the slack? Why should we both drown if one stops peddling?

One woman said that she has seen it happen but with couples who have similar educations. He Caribbean host for that show yelled and said that the woman were missing the point of the discussion: what is so unattractive about a man who stays home and takes care of that front. One woman said that she wants to have them go out and be the leader of the family. The host said that she wants a man who earns less than she does but the woman said that the two have nothing to do with each other. Stacy, the host, was told that she usually man bash and it was unfair to the discussion.
Bryonn Bain, painter, poet, activist, said that his fav episode for the season was Black fatherhood; he was on the show. The host here was Jennifer and she asked where does he teach, and is the Blue-collar guy over-looked by women. Adiodun Oyewole, poet, stated how he asked his students who was going out and all the girls had their hands up but not the fellas. Then he made the statement of how he asked them if they weren’t gangstas. Seems that women are drawn to thug images, even as young as high school ages. This was while he did a contract at Thomas Edison High School in Brooklyn, New York. The love for the bad boy image has gone on throughout the ages as women want a man to protect them, have a backbone but how much is too much.

Keith Boykin, author, liked his discussion with a Reverend, Dr. Kenneth Hutcherson, debating about homosexuals. Jennifer was the host for this as well. An anti-homosexual reverend was ready to spout bible references and was telling Keith that he continued to dip into the Old Testament but what’s the difference. How can you uphold half a book? Keith brought up some valid points that how the bible stated many things that people ignore. We are not supposed to were multi-fabrics in their garments but we do; Paul said that women should adorn themselves with modest apparel not with gold and pearls and costly array; Paul also said I suffer not a woman to teach a man. The preacher then went on to say that Keith continued to go into the Old Testament and how Jesus died to eliminate that. Eliminate what? The Old Testament?? Since when did he do that?? I tell you, people come up with new bullshit every day. Then Rev. Kenneth lied to himself and stated that the bible held women higher than anybody when Keith pointed out that the bible holds women as subjects to men. Can I get the bible that the preacher has? Once Kith got going and stayed on point the others, including the host, began making sideline jokes, and the host told Keith to “remember – short.” This and her hand gesture meant that Keith was to remain brief but I don’t see how can he when a preacher is making false statements on the show and the host or others in the discussion are not educated enough about the bible they claim to read to counter point the man. I believe that if you open up a discussion you should be ready to counter-point. At least statements that pertain to the discussion: gays and the church. There are too many ways o fight that.

Jennifer Lewis-Hall said her fav show was the AIDS awareness show. Keith Boykin hosted this show and said that an accurate perception of the disease was important. Rae Lewis Thornton, AIDS/HIV activist, spoke on the cost of staying with taking care of living with HIV/AIDS. To find ways to tapping into the system and finding the extra money is possible. Marie Saint Cyr, Executive Director of NY AIDS C, made the point that there is also a psychological cost in addition to the financial cost and people must deal with that and be aware of how to work through it. She spoke on the importance of taking care of oneself through nutrition and exercise and if a single mother needs to find an additional babysitter – all these things are compounding and can take their toll. Ryan Smith, Attorney, asked how much would it cost an average individual to take care of themself. It takes $55,000 with a $26,000 co-pay annually for Ms. Thornton to get her medications.

Lewis-Hall came back and introduced another show about African-Americans in sports. Erika J. Kendrick, author of Confessions of a Rookie Cheerleader, stated that the players are paid a small percentage of what they corporation is worth; and controlled to their tattoos and what they were off court and who they date and what they say and do.

Bain introduced the show about banned speech. He felt that a lot of self-hatred came out in that conversation. Erica Watson, comedian, said that there should be no censorship in what is said and that she’s very opinionated. She believes that if she censors someone else then she will be censored. She said that those girls needed relaxers and were hurt because the truth hurt. She said that a nerve was touched and those girls looked a little rough. Bain rushed and said that Black women should not try to look like White women (say it slow and with heart Bain – makes no sense rushing through your statements). Kendrick, said that Blacks made Don Imus force them to look at what is in their community. Lewis-Hall said that the difference was that these girls were not asking to be in this spotlight – yet they are at a prominent school playing a money engine sport. Once people hit college, they are beginning a public life in sports. Some felt that Imus was a scapegoat and I agree. Blacks don’t want to deal with the problem – simply the symptoms.

Lauren Lake, attorney & designer, who introduces girlfriend to girlfriend and how relationships with mom can affect relationships with other women. Lake reveals that for her she was taught to nurture a strong relationship with her sisters and keep a tight circle of girlfriends. Know when to tell your business but not tell it to everyone. I agree – I learned that from my mom as well as the difference between associates, colleagues, and friends. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that knowledge. Staceyann Chin, writer & performer, said that she was not raised by her mother but a mother figure. She said that it depends on who raises you and how it’s not all good. Staceyann said how she believes that women learned how to be a woman from society because there are women all over the globe who state that they do not want to be like their mothers. (Staceyann has a very good point. Many woman have made that declaration time and time again so it’s not always the woman who raised you that showed you what a woman should be like). Another woman said that she disagreed with Staceyann but the women in her family were key to shaping her core – but that’s her, not all women. These two women made very good points on where women learn their behaviors.
Ryan Smith spoke on women’s expectations of men; him and four women. One woman stated that she knows women who are ok with their man stepping out and Lewis-Hall asked if these women want more. Lake states how there are men who behave as children but there are women who are in children mode as well. Lake said that if she has a man who doesn’t make as much as she does she doesn’t want to hear the man’s issues about the White man keeping him down. I agree. Smith asked how many women care about what the men do for a living and Lake said that she doesn’t hang out in the circles where women are still asking what college you went to as if it was the only claim to fame they’ve had in their life. That was right on the nose!

Ryan returns with eating in the Black community. Lewis-Hall says where do they draw the line. Smith says that it all comes down to one thing – do you have a responsibility to earn a living. However, you have a responsibility to take care of yourself.

Staceyann Chin said that she liked the episode about sex lives; here she reveals that she’s a lesbian. The show was about if lesbians and straight women can be friends. Stceyann said that lesbians don’t have accepted roles about who should propose or not but when straight women complain about their man not asking to marry hem, why not talk to them about it. Staceyann said that she couldn’t truly relate straight women and some of their issues. This conversation seemed a bit lost as the women were talking about when they hang out they may not want to go to the same places and how one may want to see chocolate thunder men because she doesn’t have much free time – it’s not where Stacey wants to go. Why can’t you simply hang out? Won’t men be seen on the way to where ever you go?

Bain introduced the African Diaspora and how chairman Omali Yeshituclu, chairman of African People Socialist Party, said how White people get together and respond as a nation. He said that we are not a part of the American fabric; we are African. However, we have not had a true connection to that land and the chairman is not saying how we should rebuild one either. Sean Joell Johnson said to Yeshituclu that he views himself as an American and Yeshituclu said that those are just words.

Keith remembered Niger R. Innis, National Spokesman for Racial Equality, as a divisive figure who showed up subdued. As a Republican Innis states that there are an amount of minorities that are in there as political prisoners. Bain is saying that the people in there are our cousins, fathers, brothers – I have no family members in prison but thee is clearly an issue with more Blacks in jail. This was the last flashback but there were some good highlights. Another show that BET does not promote.

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