Planets Unaligned

By
SwitchBlade
– 2009/08/16Posted in: cinema
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film archives

planetoftheapesposterblendFilm: Planet of the Apes

Actor(s): Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, James Daly, Linda Harrison, Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Giamatti, Estella Warren

Official Drop Date: February 8, 1968 & July 27, 2001

Blades: 1968 –> 8.5; 2001 –> 4

Review: After reading the novel I decided to re-watch both Planet of the Apes together and the conclusion of both film were a miscarriage of justice to the novel. This flashback will encompass both versions of the theatrical misfits. We begin in stating that one screenwriter should be whipped without mercy while the other shot in the groin and dragged behind a NASCAR speeder – immediately.

1968 version

planetoftheapes1968movieposterWe move on to the 1968 version and the poor excuse for making the apes more primitive than they were in the novel. As folks must have been in tears with how expensive it could have been to create the alternative planet – there was no excuse why it could not have been done on a set already built in Hollywood with homes and vehicles. NONE.

Rod Serling, yep that’s right – the cat who created the Twilight Zone classic, is to blame for the movie of 1968 being way off course. To enjoy every aspect of this version one must NEVER read the novel. One question for a resurrected Serling would be – why the name changes? Why couldn’t the majority of the characters keep their names – especially the lead character? Speaking of leads – why Charlton Heston? His acting skills were subpar and painful to endure. At times I hoped the movie would change and Heston was lobotomized or beaten to death by a gorilla for sport.

The language aspect and the fact that they were truly on different planets should have remained. What saved the film was Roddy McDowall. Through the film he radiated and made multiple points that echoed back to current realities. His character was more of a punk in the novel but the screen version was acceptable. As for the ending – they would have been better simply shutting off the cameras.

8.5 blades for this version.

blades: ★★★★★★★★½☆

2002 remake

planetoftheapes2001movieposterNow for the 2001 version: Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal should never be allowed another scripts. Despite stepping things up and hiring a capable actor to lead the story, the script was bogus and could have cost Mark Wahlberg future paychecks. He’s got a family to feed folks?!? Konner and Rosenthal attempted to bring in the missing chimpanzee from the novel but still managed to fuck up something so simple.

The apes went from completely primitive to completely retarded. They were still living in trees and looking nothing like the described world of the novel – not for the better. Not much can be said about this film in a positive even though the ending was switched up. Although it was a bad remake, that was one of the best changes made to the movie (regardless of it not being exactly like the book – rarely any novel to film is).

4 blades for this sad remake.

blades: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

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