Ban Us From This Island

Film: Shutter Island

Actor(s): Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Williams

Official Drop Date: February 19, 2010

Blades: 0

Review: Holy crap. How could a film be so bad so soon in 2010? Five minutes into this film I thought it was April Fool’s Day or someone would pop out of the shadows and Yell “You’re on Candid Camera” and then roll the real film. Alas that was never to be the case. I, as I’m sure most movie goers, solved the blasted mystery as soon as the first scene rolled.

Maybe they should have labeled this ‘Paranormal Activity 2′ because it was THAT bad. The hype they built up for this movie was just as over exposed as Beyonce’s acting and J Lo’s music careers. It would have been better if Mark Wahlberg showed up as Bobby Lee and wanted to know why the government set him up. It would have been better if Leonardo took a nose dive off the cliff and went looking for the Titanic. It would have been better if I saw a werewolf swim ashore and eat everyone. Anything would have been better than the garbage I was exposed to like nuclear radiation.

Please, I beg of you – not to waste more than $6 checking this out. Better yet beg a friend or worker at Blockbuster to rent it for you on their discount card. Anything not to give good money after bad. If Martin Scorsese wants money he’s going to have to work for it. This bum finally gets a lifetime achievement award and thinks he can give up and deliver trash. Shoot, remake Godfather or do a Casino 2, but for the love of all that is holy – don’t make another film like Shutter Island. That shit should drown with the Titanic. No blades for this very predictable suck fest. A definite W.T.F. grade.

blades: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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